Suffering is a sign that healing is possible
Attachment traumas are wounds or ruptures that happen between a child and their caregivers. These wounds, while in some cases might not be intentional, leave a lasting effect on a person. Examples of these are physical or emotional abuse or neglect including being physically disciplined, being shames/punished/put down for experience a specific feelings, frequent moving throughout childhood, being denied needs or expression of feelings, having a parents with substance use issues or untreated mental health issues, being alone while witnessing or being in a traumatic events, sibling fights or abuse, to list a few.
Substance use related issues
"Before it was the problem, it was the solution" -Earnie Larsen
We are all just trying to survive and thrive in this life! Substance use and addiction isn’t about morality, willpower, or personal deficiency- it’s about survival, and we’re all trying to do this in some shape or form. Whether it be exercise, over-thinking, excessive worries, eating habits, self-harm, or substance use, we are trying to use behaviors to change how we feel on the inside. The struggle is even further complicated when underlying mental health issues and trauma are involved.
We have attempted to find a definitive answer to the debate if addiction is nature or nurture without luck. I believe this debate is leading us down the wrong road. Addiction is a sign of suffering and pain and when thought of this way the avenue for healing is simplified.
Nothing worth doing is easy
Yes! You are now sober and free from substances and unhealthy habits! Everything should be fixed and perfect… but it’s not. Why is it I don’t feel full of life? Where is my “happy, joyous, free” experience? Many times the answer is hidden beneath layers of deeper, unresolved struggles. While sober support meetings and sponsorship can have life-changing benefits, working a program isn’t enough for many people. Individual, tailored sessions aimed at exploring your hidden shadows can help lessen the grip these negative influences can have on your life. No matter the length of time in sobriety, therapy is a useful tool to help continue the journey and maintaining the endurance needed for a life of recovery.
Freedom from fear
Change is difficult. In the process of great change, a lot of emotions are triggered, making it difficult to stay grounded. Change can leave people feeling disconnected and unlike themselves. During times of change typically coping skills might not have the same impact as they did in the past leaving people feeling depleted and rundown. Therapy is a useful tool to help stay on track while continuing to move through the processes of change and feeling energized and grounded.
Racing thoughts, difficulty relaxing or letting go
Stress can be toxic, wreaking havoc on both our mind and body. Under prolonged amounts of stress, our body is depleted of its hormonal reserves and nutrients, leaving us with little for ourselves, and even less to for others. Our bodies cannot tell the difference between emotional stress versus physical pain; thus, when in emotional pain, resources for healing and recharging are being used to function. Therapy assists in breaking this cycle through introspective work and creating a wellness routine. We will work together to derive a wellness plan, getting you back to feeling like you’re more balanced, authentic self.
There is a big secret behind many high achieving individuals. Many of them are suffer from fraud or impostor syndrome. Maybe even yourself. Compliments are quickly dismissed as it seems like success is a necessary part of your being. Accomplishments go uncelebrated or quickly acknowledged as they do not seem like a “big deal.” It can be a lonely mountain to sit on since from the outside you appear competent, secure, and successful. But on the inside this is far from the truth. Even the people closest to you do not recognize your intrinsic battle. Inside you hold tightly to a belief you are inadequate, your success is due to circumstance, or depends on your background. Despite your actions of achieving you still do not feel the pride and gratification others or yourself expect. Behind this belief is often a fear of failure and a diminished sense of self-worth. Therapy can help uncover the internal belief that is blocking you from feeling fulfilled, satisfied, and enjoying life.
A Happier, Healthier You
The concept of self-esteem and confidence seems straightforward and concrete, yet too many people are struggling with having a relationship, job, and life that feels satisfying and complete. Why is that? While it can be many different things, one is underdeveloped sense of self and knowing one’s worth. People with diminished self-esteem and confidence identify with these statements below:
Have a voice inside your head that talks down to you, doubt you, exhaust you, dismiss your feelings or needs, or act against your values.
Difficulty making decisions and when you do feeling confident with the choice.
Blaming yourself for arguments or disagreements with others.
Putting others needs, wants, feeling before your own.
Feeling “selfish” for putting your needs first or doing self-care.
Issues expressing emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety, or pride.
Excesses feelings of guilt, shame, or responsibility
Seeking validation and reassurance from others oppose to intrinsically knowing your worth.
Eating related issues and disorder
Eating related issues and disorders come in many different shapes, sizes, and forms. From obsessive thoughts around eating a certain way, exercising, restricting food intake, body shaming, purging food or binge eating. The focus on food covers up a deep disconnection from the self. The core of these issues stem around the desire to control, stop, suppress, get rid feeling, manage or disconnect from the underlying issues. Understanding and reengaging with the underlying issues such as self-control, depression, anxiety, a past history of trauma or neglect can help start the healing process. Rather than continuing to suppress or avoid these issues, therapy will help increase self-awareness while tolerating emotions to create lasting change. Daniel Siegel, a pioneer of interpersonal neurobiology suggests that eating disorders are disorders of self-awareness. In our work together, we will use a variety of tools to increase self-awareness and replace past life diminishing behaviors with new life giving behaviors.